Well, it's here. My wedding is officially 12 days away and I have been ENGROSSED in preparations. I think that I have an ulcer. However, an ulcer might aid me in not having to wear Spanx under my dress. I'm just sayin'. Girdles aren't attractive on anyone. But I digress.
I knew the preparations would be hectic. However, it just seems so surreal. All of these rites of passage are passing me by and I feel like I am watching from a movie theater audience. Sittin' there munching on popcorn.
Let's see...wedding dress fittings, check. Complete with red face and all because I didn't have time to make-up. PS-I didn't know people took pictures of that. My halter dress was so big it looked like I had wings.
First Spray Tan Experience, check. I really thought it was eerie that a lady from the heavens was espousing directions to me while I stood in a spaceship, making poses like the family on the "School Crossing" sign. AND I STILL ended up with a line down my side. I was told to, "just, um, like, put make-up on it." Yes, dear. Make-up. If I had make-up that color, I wouldn't have needed a melted Crayola shower to begin with. I am also a firm believer that there are some areas that God didn't mean to be tan.
Bridal shower, check. Who invented this anyway? It sounds so great...mimosas, presents, women only, Ya-Ya! However, tipsy from the mimosas, trying to introduce your mother to your friends with similar names and occupations makes for some awkward silences. Also, while it was beautiful, fabulous, and completely generous, sitting in front of everyone opening presents...well, my teacher side wanted to tell everyone to stop talking, sit up straight, and put there eyes on me. It took everything I had not to snap at my bridesmaids when they got too giggly. Holding up hot pink lingere in front of your mother? Not so much fun, I discovered.
Bachelorette Party, check. Definitely fun, but have you all ever noticed that organized fun that involves head gear usually doesn't turn out that way? I'm just sayin'....
Waiting on passports to come in with baited breath...lets just not go there.
Don't get me wrong. I have THE BEST friends in the world. Who else would throw you the bridal shower of your dreams or wander around downtown Orlando with you for 30 minutes at 2AM completely lost? My little bridesmaid soldiers, that's who. But through all of these experiences, I've felt like I'm watching them happen to someone else. Except for the presents that come every day and are waiting in my car port when I get home. Those definitley feel like they are happening to me. Haha.
Anyway, I love my fiance' so much and I can't wait to be his wife, but no matter how much I thought I would love this, wedding planning is totally for the birds. Maybe that is a good sign. Maybe that means I'm in love with the person, not the wedding. Which will be Key West fabulous. After all, my signature colors are blush and lime green, darling.
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